Thursday, March 29, 2007

Parenting styles


-By Swetha Amit
Psychology emphasizes the fact of individuality differences among humans.

So what is it that makes our personalities distinct from one another? Several factors are cited for our overall development and competence from our formative to the attractive adulthood stage. The prime backbone stresses the role of parents in our lives and has been of immense interest to millions.

Today,the multitasking function consists of a dual nature of being bread winners and family people. Assuring security and stability in every possible manner; imbibing values, morals and code of conduct; handing out suitable reinforcements and punishments indeed requires tact and is challenging on the couple. Striving to attain the perfect balance gives a further insight into the different styles of parenting adopted. This probably provides clarity in explaining the positive/adverse effects on character growth during the formative years.

Some parents tend to portray one extremity of the over controlling act by their Authoritarian parenting style. Continuing the trend of stern discipline from their childhood years propels such parents to advocate authority.Constant fear of their children straying into the forbidden territory often haunts in their minds. Lack of freedom is accompanied by grim rules made, indicating the home law. Prohibiting the voicing out of opinions results in the children feeling stifled. One can’t blame them for feeling like a television being monitored by a remote control.

Such children tend to portray irritability, annoyance and appear unfriendly to others. They tend to sulk often which isn’t surprising, considering the autocratic imposition that has deprived them out of their breathing space and happiness. It’s alarming to observe such individuals developing lack of confidence and an aura of uncertainty cast over them like a shadow. A rebellious streak is bound to occur beyond certain point of tolerance levels.

Permissive parenting style portrays the other extreme, quite contrary to the former one. Excess freedom is given without laying the basic ground rules. They let their young ones make the choices without passing an appropriate judgment. They are usually accepting of their children irrespective of their good/bad deeds. Such acts prohibit the children from gaining even the primary disciplinary procedure, equaling them to the carefree bird/animals in the wild.

These children display high levels of aggression. Not being monitored from an early age enables these youngsters from distinguishing between right and wrong. They are unable to think rationally and control their impulsive nature. Not being placed with too many demands leaves them with a difficulty of shouldering responsibilities. Basking in the over indulgence of parental affection causes them to retain immaturity levels.

There are some parents who place very little demands and possess little levels of responsiveness. They often appear cold, self obsessed and uncaring. This almost amounts to neglecting and rejection. It describes the Uninvolved parenting style which makes one wonder about the indifference displayed to their own children. It seems that other priorities rule their lives leaving them hard pressed for time to even generate the minimal requirement of warmth. This causes a crack in the parent-child relationship, the further widening of which destroys the bond forever. It resembles two parallel lines which can never meet.

Such children feel resentful towards their parents. A wave of insecurity engulfs them leaving them to feel perplexed and hurt due to the lack of nurture. Craving for affection and affiliation depict a pitiable plight of these personas. It’s a case of extremity between chillers and frostbites. Displacement of their anger towards their parents on others could earn them the title of desperate attention seekers. Such individuals are found harnessing the bitter wounds and become self centered where they exhibit lack of consideration for others.

The ideal style represents itself in the Flexible parenting style where the perfect balance is attained between giving freedom and establishing guidelines. Here children are handled by appropriate measure of a pleasant/offensive behaviour. The young ones are often consulted in decision making process. Channels of communication are always open which encourages everyone to voice out opinions with ease.

They develop into smart and confident adults who generate optimism in every situation. They portray a cheerful and friendly expression on their faces. Independent thinking and achievement oriented ,describes such individuals.

Carrying the trend to the next generation depends a lot on the parenting style we receive. Today’s parents may want to inculcate the right principles in their children. Isn’t it important to gain the perfect balancing act? An insight into the above factors will help in molding ourselves and others to adopt the suitable style, enhancing responsibility towards our kith and kin.


After all we don’t want to be saddled with the guilt of not bringing up our children with the right ingredients. In other words, it’s not worth entwining ourselves in an ironical situation of destroying our own creations-our children.
Written for www.msn.co.in

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