A Scar for life
“You are good for nothing”. A statement that kept lingering in her mind like an annoying alarm clock that would shake her up from her beauty sleep. It was a haunting reminder, echoing inside her whenever she would attempt to take a step forward. It seemed like something was holding her back from reaching where she aspired to be. A scathing remark that left a perennial psychological scar that even 20 years couldn’t heal.
A visible contrast is exhibited between a superficial blemish which would be concealed effortlessly and an internal one that would inflict pain like a fresh wound. All it takes an insensitive remark to bring about an ugly effect while a burning object seems to get scot free with only a matter of time. Millions are found to be victims of the latter case.
An offhand remark from a family member, friend or neighbor tends to cause severe repercussions to a healthy growth in one's personality. This is especially prominent in the childhood and adolescent stage where the transition is at its peak with high strung emotions. It almost equals a flower being crushed before it opens out its soft and blooming petals. Flurries of comments are hurled out knowingly or unknowingly which often affects the person’s self esteem to a large extent. Remarks about one's physical appearance range from ones dusky complexion, obesity, clothing, under performance, slow learning, and failure to meet high expectations and constant comparisons with other peers.
Repeated reminders from role models, whom the youngsters look up to, can prove to be a source of discouragement and dismay. The gradual feeling of ‘being worthless’ will grow only to multiply like cancer cells and result in self destruction. Such beings are the ones who would refuse to recognize their inherent potential or talent due to one stinging statement. They tend to withdraw into a shell, refusing to face the world with the expected supreme confidence. The reverse effect could also occur where such youngsters display a condescending attitude towards others as a defense mechanism of covering up their inner insecurities or complexes. A repertoire of rude retorts even to adults is a common trait found amongst those still recovering from their early tryst with insults.
It may be surprising and even shocking for those who have unintentionally contributed to this dire circumstance. Words uttered by us even in a pang of frustration can lead to an instance where one loses their faces to forgive themselves on realizing their impertinent folly later.
It is essential to measure our words and indulge in encouragement rather than the opposite, to children and even others. While it may not be an easy task to control our agitations and vexations at times, a momentary thought of its consequences can act as a controlling factor. Motivational words can work like a magic wand in instances of low bouts. Unconditional acceptance of our near and dear ones proves to be a key factor. One certainly cannot discount the fact of flaws being present in us to a large extent. And constant reminders by others about our shortcomings deteriorate our pride and lead to resentment of those guilty. Indulging in the same behaviour towards others would probably reap in similar attitudes towards us. Keeping in mind of our acceptance by others in the society despite our minor drawbacks should propel us to extend the same genre of open mindedness towards them. A dose of sensitivity and tact is all that it requires on our part to appreciate our fellow humans, especially our kith and kin.
While cosmetology is what heals physical scars ultimately, nothing can surpass the humane compassion which is the finishing touch to the architecture of personality structuring. A smooth balm that can minimize the deep scars, even worse than those created by acne.