On friendships and self reflections





It was in the year 2001 when Dil Chahta Hai (DCH) released. I was in my final year of college. A naive 20 year old who lacked the drive and purpose in life. Just like Akash in DCH, I hadn't seriously thought about the future. When my parents posed the same question to me as Akash's parents did in the movie, I quipped something similar saying I hadn't thought about it. Probably in a less cheeky manner than Akash did, nevertheless with the same cluelessness that he had exhibited. I was content being wrapped up in a bubble which comprised of a few friends, driving my own car and attending college. 

I recollect watching this movie with some friends back then. This was also a time when Hindi cinema was maturing and catering more to the urban suave audience. The characters were realistic and relatable. Sid especially was the one who caught my fancy back then. With his seriousness and sensitivity, his quiet demeanor visualized the direction that their friendship would take. The 20 year old me dismissed his musings just the way Akash and Sameer did. As mentioned earlier, I lived in the bubble that friendships would last forever and that nothing would go awry. 

How wrong I was. 

18 years later, when I watched this movie with my husband and daughter, I couldn't help thinking how much things have changed. True to Sid's words, my life took a different direction. I moved cities and all on a sudden I was pushed out of my comfort zone. The twenty year old something me was forced to grow up in order to survive on her own. Like the changing tides of the Arabian Sea, I too found myself changing as the city of Mumbai enclosed me into its arms. My ideologies and beliefs changed. I was no longer the naive, impish girl lacking in self confidence. Over time, my friends changed. Some drifted apart naturally while other friendships ended on a sour note. Perhaps their inability to accept my change in behavior or priorities had something to do with. Or probably it was a mismatch in expectations. Whatever it was, I believe it happened for the good. 

Today my friend circle is different. I am a lot more no nonsensical with regards to relationships. I do not hesitate to walk away if I find someone exhibiting scant respect towards me. A la Sid who slaps Akash for his impudence. Most importantly I have learnt to value one to one relationships a lot more than thriving on group rapport. Life is a lot less complicated that way. I've learnt this the hard way and only wish I had implemented this mantra in my 20s. Well, better late than never. 

DCH did evoke a sense of nostalgia. It made me wonder what it would be like if I could relive my 20s again. Nevertheless it made a great watch followed by a good amount of discussion about the characters a with my partner. 

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