Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Expectations

-By Swetha Amit
”Expectations reduce joy” is one of the famous pillars of the art of living. A simple quote and yet, a most challenging principle to follow in life.


Akshay and Rakesh were best friends from childhood. What one did, the other was always aware of. Their friendship was one that would cause envy to many others in their lives. Both matured into young handsome adults and as fate always predicts, their paths took two different directions into the further journey of life’s expeditions. Solemn promises were made not to let such opposite routes come in the way of their friendship, thereby assuring one another of the going-on in each others lives.

Akshay joined Hotel management while Rakesh went on to climb the corporate ladder of a multinational firm. Their professional lives took a toll that promises once made had to be forgotten as the demands made on each of them stifled them of their personal lives. But it did not hamper the bond and closeness shared by the duo. Akshay was trapped in the perseverance of realizing his dreams.

One fine day, he was given a project of being in charge of a huge socialite wedding to be conducted in his Hotel. He went on to ensure that the necessary preparations and arrangements were being made in order to make it the most eventful evening for the to-be married couple and their guests. Finally the great day arrived and he was given the honorary job of extending a warm welcome to the bridegroom.

As Akshay was awaiting the man of the evening, a car pulled up and a man decked in a black Armani suit got out in a poised fashion. On seeing Akshay with a welcome committee, he froze with a dismayed look on his face. A shocked expression slowly clouded Akshay’s face as the bridegroom was none another than Rakesh.

Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappoint you in some way. They'll say something or fail to say something that will hurt you. And they'll do something or fail to do something that will anger you. It's inevitable.

Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stew over someone's words and deeds. When you dwell on an insensitive action made by another person, you're headed for deeper problems. In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the more bitter you'll get. You’ll find your joy, peace and happiness slipping away.

And you'll find your productivity slowing down as you spend more and more time thinking about the slight or telling others about it. These occur due to expectations one has out of another. It is considered as a normal thing for us humans to think of ourselves as of great importance to others. What one fail’s to realize is that others may not place us on the same height of pedestal that we place them on.

The above story is a perfect example of teaching people a lesson of not to have expectations. One can imagine the current of emotions that would have engulfed Akshay like a whirlwind, causing him to feel shattered and let down. LET DOWN……..a feeling that we are solely responsible for.


Before we allow this demon of an emotion to rule our lives, an analysis of the occurrence of such a feeling must be done. Are others causing this feeling or are we choosing ourselves to let this feeling creep into our healthy minds? Such analysis would ultimately lead to a logical conclusion and realization that our happiness is in our hands and not in others’.


The sooner individuals condition their thought processes in this channel, the better they learn to realize the consequences of expectations. The world is full of such people like Rakesh.One should prepare them to be withheld or not be told of some trivial information by their own kith and kin. Such preparations make one stronger and lessen their involvement with others’ lives and concentrate on theirs’ more.

This would enable people to develop a certain kind of enigma that would set aside them from the normal people. It is an enigma that sets such people together, yet apart. An aura that would enable humans to move on and realize that wounds caused by loved ones are sometimes the conflicts that builds a strong character as a famous quote states” Conflict builds character, crisis defines it.”
Written for www.msn.co.in

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