Shadows of the past: Bittersweet or haunting

-By Swetha Amit
http://content.msn.co.in/MSNContribute/Story.aspx?PageID=7e7c3f88-e243-43ca-93bf-22b00ca491d1
She tossed her mass of curls behind her shoulders as she looked at the mass of waves crashing on the shore. They seem to be restless, underlying with currents just like her current state of mind. It’s been six years she thought. It seemed like a long time ago yet the memories came flooding back to her just like it all happened yesterday. Who would have thought that she would return to the same place which depicted traces of her past? As she stared at the stormy sea, her mind took a trip down memory lane as an image of her bubbly twenty one year old flashed in front of her.

Naive and oblivious to the realities of the world, she had lived in a world of her own. Blissfully and madly in love, she envisioned nothing except flowers, candle light dinners, sunset and long walks by the sea. Little did she realize that the candy floss romance she was engulfed in would ironically lead her to open her eyes to reality? It forced her to grow up like a sudden growth spurt that one faces in puberty accompanied with a feeling of being alarmed and dishevelled. All seemed well as he too appeared equally caring, considerate and sensitive. Appeared! Didn’t someone say the world’s a stage? No doubt it had some great actors in it who would allure their fans into a surreal world temporarily. The field of the reel life was driven by wealth and ambition. Real life was no different as these needs of an individual far surpassed those of love, affiliation and compassion.

It was that fateful day when he had received a mail welcoming him to the shores abroad. Overseas is what he was obsessed with for reasons unknown to her. Better opportunities and prospects was what he kept mentioning repeatedly. Yet she didn’t seem convinced and deep down she realized even he wasn’t. The question of family pride, reputation and status was what propelled him to develop a child like fascination. Heated arguments began to grow as tension surmounted one fine day only to be sealed with a frosty goodbye. After which she never heard of him. Leaving her vulnerable with a broken heart,it made her wonder if she would ever mend its shattered pieces again. He seemed like a sudden gale of wind which swept her off her feet only to throw her mercilessly into the dunes of depression. Three years she pined for him with a slight ray of hope he would come back. Yet not a word or a call, which made her realize gradually about ruthlessness that prevailed in abundance around her.

Deciding to pick up lose threads of her broken confidence, she was more than determined to weave her personality back to what it was. With immense difficulty, she pursued her studies and career growing into a beautiful, smart woman who had grown to realize the ways of the world.
As she opened a new chapter in her life, bliss knocked on the windows once again as love entered like a fresh fragrance of spring. Having tied the knot she was whisked away to a surprise destination by her partner. As she landed there, her eyes widened as a whirlpool of thoughts spun around her cognitive space. Mixed feelings arose as she feared the prospect of ruining her honeymoon. How strange life was as it took you around circles making one land up in the same place yet as a different person with a different state of mind. Deciding to sort out things once and for all, a walk by the sea was what she resorted to.

Should she let the shadows of the past haunt her just as she was beginning a new phase in her life? Or should she let them remain as bitter sweet memories? The past taunts one only when they allow it to. What if they refuse to allow it to enter their minds? Should one succumb to such evils when immense effort has gone in to rebuild their entire persona? Why let such a beautiful phenomenon be burnt by the flames of the yesteryears? One fails to climb wonderful steps into the vivacious future due to being held prisoner by the chains of the past. Why deprive one of the simple joys of living due to a few black clouds? As she looked up at the sea, it strangely appeared calm, just like her state of mind now. Feeling lighter and happier, she decided to go back to her husband only to turn around and seeing him in front of her.

Where have you been all this while? I was looking for you. She gave him a wistful smile and said she was looking forward to her new beginning. As she looked back, the waves had receded and so had her shadows of her past.
Written for www.msn.co.in

Comments

Whirlwind said…
Comments on MSN:

Saugata Dasgupta - Calcutta on 12/17/2009 5:01:31 PM
Beautifully written - the author's following analysis "The past taunts one only when they allow it to Why let such a beautiful phenomenon be burnt by the flames of the yesteryears?" - ABSOLUTELY SPOT-ON!!! Really appreciated...
Whirlwind said…
Venkat - Dar on 12/17/2009 7:01:06 PM
Very well written Swetha.
A New Beginning said…
Amazing Shwetha!:) Sometimes its good to let the waves wash away the footprints left back as we walk ahead. A fine story indeed!
Whirlwind said…
Thanks a lot Sana!!

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