Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Ahead of times


-By Swetha Amit
“It’s been six years”, she said to herself. It seemed just like yesterday when they were engulfed in merriment and mindless leg pulling. A bunch of youngsters were on the brink of adulthood and were yet to face the harsh real world. Everything was so oblivious back then apart from their notorious group. She could still recollect the last day of College where solemn vows were made never to lose track/touch with one another. A few tears were even shed. Each traced a different path for herself and the journey of life resumed from a bed of roses to encountering a few thorns.

So much had happened in those six years that followed as she almost felt her teen self being a stranger to her. Little did she realize that a move to a different city would actually bring out a facet of her persona which ceased to have existed without her knowledge? Was it suppressed all these years due to being a conformist all the while? Or just a mere case of ‘growing up’?

Different people and experiences highlighted steaks of her individuality that even took her by surprise. It appeared to have pushed her into a different league altogether. Her current attitude and frame of mind were certainly shaped up by weathering a few storms. And certainly not the seasonal monsoons everyone was accustomed to on a yearly basis. Her earlier days almost seemed hazy like a misty morning up the hills. It sure had been an uphill task on coping up with the ‘metamorphosis’ and retaining minimal touch with her old acquaintances. The rest appeared to be sailing on the same boat from what she had gathered while she had migrated to greener pastures. Feeling almost guilty for her rather ‘superior’ feelings, she tried to look forward to the reunion which was happening in an hour’s time. She ignored the little voice which popped up the same question repeatedly “Will you still be able to identify with them?”

After one last glance at the mirror, she set off to the neighboring coffee shop for a rather long evening. As she reached the entrance, it occurred to her that she was fashionably late. Amidst the sea of faces were a few ecstatic hands waving frantically at her. Forcing herself to smile, she walked across slowly with every step spelling apprehension. She couldn’t help noticing how much each had changed superficially and yet they hadn’t on a deeper level. How ironical, she thought. Two hours dragged along as the initial bouts of enthusiasm faded away like wisps of smoke into thin air. Moments of awkwardness began to creep in and pounded loudly like the heartbeat of one just after an exhilarating work-out.

The same old gossip, clinging on to the past, catty remarks made her feel like an old haggard amidst a bunch of teens. The only thing being she was still in her twenties chronologically. Her entire life equaled her to have descended from a different planet entirely. The unbearable mode reached its peak which prompted her to indulge in a gracious exit rather politely but thankfully. Thoughts precipitated her deep cerebration mode as she left. Had things really changed to such a drastic level? Were these the same people she had shared an inseparable bond with once upon a time? It had been worse than expected. Unable to relate to anything of their talk, every inch of tolerance had been exhausted leaving her rather drained out. As she introspected further, something in her snapped to reality which reminded her of the inevitable and the need for the acceptance factor immediately. It was like a sudden jolt of lightning that startles one out of their wits. Yet it enlightens the people below at least for a brief moment.

It was hard to accept the fact of leaving them behind as faint memories from the past. The laughter, cries and bonding didn’t cease to exist anymore. Transformation had slowly found its way through as an anchor ready to steer her through rest of her life. She seemed to have gone far ahead in the learning curve of life where the rest would either reach late or probably never do so. Torn between the past and the future she faced a different crossroad of life this time. A decision which was difficult and easy at the same time. That which would leave her feeling selfish and selfless. Right or wrong spelt relativity as realization dawned upon her that it was time to say goodbye. Why was the obvious always so arduous? The dark skies above portrayed the same shade as that of her mental state as she dozed off into a tiresome slumber.

The clarity of first rays intruded into her cognitive haze as she resumed normalcy of a Sunday morning. Later that afternoon, she managed to clear old stack of papers amidst which were a bunch of old photographs of that ‘stranger’.

Sometimes in life, there are many who move ahead of others along the steep curve of change resulting in unexpected estrangement from old ties. Selfishness seems the only alternative which surpasses the need to hold on to old strings. The latter would only make one feel stifled and redundant, like a bonsai plant with no scope for growth. True that it embarks a hard hitting reality and bitterness. While one needn’t indulge in cat fights, moving ahead of times can be done by holding their heads high with dignity and graceful acceptance. And certainly not blaming one or the others.

Written for www.msn.co.in

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3 Comments:

Blogger Whirlwind said...

Comments on MSN:

varun - hyderabad on 10/14/2008 3:49:02 PM
very thought proviking and nice article but i would just say the storms that people face in their lifetime makes people little bit selfish.

9:02 PM  
Blogger Whirlwind said...

ayesha parveen - kolkata on 10/14/2008 4:13:41 PM
An outstanding post by you, Swetha. How well you have expressed: "Sometimes in life, there are many who move ahead of others along the steep curve of change resulting in unexpected estrangement from old ties." Best wishes.

9:02 PM  
Blogger Whirlwind said...

KP:It is superb in your inimitable style.You virtually play with words and try how much I am not able to do that.

8:58 PM  

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