Retracing 2021

The year started out well. For the first time, I wasnt down with the flu end of this year.And just like every year, I'm retracing the journey in 2021. What a roller coaster of a year its been. Some good and celebratory moments, some challenging ones which involved some serious physical and mental health issues. Nevertheless, I've managed to survive these setbacks and come out stronger. There are some vital lessons I've learned which leads to some firm resolutions as I gear up for the new year. 

January 

 For once I wasnt suffering from the flu or bouts of cough or cold. While we were in the second lock down mode, the outdoor recreation was thankfully still open. So I was able to  get my swims, runs and bike rides done. This retained my sanity which helped me start my second semester at University which was on zoom. January was pretty smooth sailing and I received my first recognition as an author. 

February

My semester was in full swing. I was writing two short stories for my workshop which was quite exhausting. I also had to do a presentation on a short story. It was overall a busy time. I also received some nominations for book awards. The highlight of the month was being able to meet some of my cohort in person. A few of us decided to meet up in person in the city, maintaining social distance, of course. It felt good to actually meet people as opposed to see faces on zoom. February again was a smooth month. 

March 

This month started off on a high note with a couple of awards for my book-A Turbulent Mind'. It was humbling and gratifying to receive recognition for my first book. I was riding high until mid March. I wasnt sure what really happened but I began to feel like the character in Elena Ferrante's Days of Abandonment. No one really abandoned me but I began on a descent to depression. During spring break, I began to feel listless, lost my appetite and would spend my time staring out of the window. There was no rational explanation as to why I felt this way. Things were going good both on my personal and professional front. It took immense effort to fight this battle.After ten days, I began to show signs of recovery and I went back to my semester with a better frame of mind. Its daunting as to how the mind can trick you into thinking that something is wrong when it isnt. These were times, I was trascending between reality and illusion. Nevertheless, I was glad to get back to normalcy. Another high point or rather a relief point was that I received the Moderna vaccine end of the month. 

April

The month started off on a good note with a visit to the Tulip Garden. The plethora of colors was such a pretty sight. Another high point was my book getting featured in The Week magazine as a part of the list of writers that empowered the world through their writing. My third short story was received well in my workshop. Other high points included my daughter's birthday and my wedding anniversary. I received my second shot of the vaccine, experienced fever and chills but recovered in a day or two. April was also good as I began HIIT training after a year and two months. It felt so good to go back to the studio and push myself. 

May

The month began on a high note with a feature in outlook India and receiving the Rabindranath Tagore certificate, honoring me as an author. The best part was to receive it on his birthday (May 7). My semester ended and I began my thesis work. It was a tough month with deadlines to meet. I was trying to get back my intensity in my fitness regime, train for some triathlons and running events. Stress began to set in and this was only the beginning. May also involved some misunderstandings which resulted in a few relationships going down the drain. Perhaps they were not meant to be and despite not having received any closure, I chanellised all my energies into my work. 

June

Things were opening out. I visited beaches and trails. This was a torrid month. I took a decision to opt out of the Ironman 70.3 race as my training wasnt up to the mark. With my thesis deadlines, there was no time to put in the hours of training required to train for a 70.3 race. I had to stick to only Olympic distances this year. And then in the middle of June, I fell sick. It wasnt covid but just a viral infection. Cold and incessant coughing for days which left me sleepless, tired and irritable. To make matters worse, I had to skip training for  ten days. The last straw was that the virus triggered my dormant ulcers and my ulcerative colitis flared again. The only bright points were celebrating my 40th birthday, doing a swim around the ocean on my birthday, getting to know that my book was a finalist at the American Book award and received a honourable mention at the San Francisco Book festival. 

July

July saw some sense of recovery. The best part was I was finishing my thesis deadlines end of the month. It was a struggle as my ulcers persisted. I began to take some medication which helped in the healing process. High points were that I ran my first 10 km race after 15 months. My timing was way off than what it had been prior to the pandemic. I knew it was tough, considering my health had taken a toll, and i was juggling multiple things at the same time. Nevertheless, it felt good to be back to doing events, crossing the finish line, getting the finishers medal. I also reconnected with my triathlon group and ended up training with them.  The downside was certain misunderstandings that crept up in some relationships which made me lose faith in the concepr of friendship. I decided to take a break and focus on my work instead. 

August

My first triathlon race after the pandemic. It was my 9th olympic distance and it wasnt a strong race at all.I was dejected and disheartened as I kept comparing myself with the timing in 2019. I had to tell myself that I wasnt the same person I was in 2019 and that i'll come back stronger in 2022. My husband asked me to celebrate the finish and the finisher's medal. And I did. The training diligently continued. The high point was watching the olympics and deriving a lot of inspiration from them. Another high point was that my fall semester began and this time it was in person. It felt good to go back to campus, meet and interact with cohorts. 

September

The fall semester was in full swing. The work load and travel to the campus was taking a toll on me. I did a gruelling trail run at San Francisco. However, it was a month where misunderstandings deepened with unkind and unwarranted comments about my apperance.  I took a break from social media and was compelled to get rid of toxic contacts and friendships. The month worsened as I was unable to do the San Francisco half marathon which I was looking forward to. Later at a triathlon race, I lost my goggles and had to opt out of the swim. It had been a month of set backs but some vital learning lessons. 

October

October started off on a decent note with the Sn Jose rock and roll run. I was glad to be able to do a heart rate based run as advised by my coach. It was a hot day and the run wasnt easy. Things began to pick up gradually. My ulcers were healed, I was training harder and I became fitter. My mental make up was getting better with every workout. On the professional front, I was learning a lot in terms of craft. I wrote a short story. The downside was that bouts of homesickness began to creep in. I was feeling fatigued with the workload and longed to visit India as I havent been able to visit in the last 2 and a half years. The month ended on a high note with a Haloween run where I dressed up as the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz. 

November

This was a turbulent month with fatigue, deciding not to take up a responsible position of my newsletter. I received a couple of rejections for my stories which left me disheartened and shattered. It made me wonder if writing was actually the right profession for me. Later I learned that rejections were a part of every authors journey before they received acceptance. My workshop went off well and I was happy to receive positive feedback. I ran my 40th half marathon this month during my Thanksgiving vacation and got to enjoy a small break at San Luis Obispo. It was refreshing to sit by the beaches and listen to the sound of waves. For the first time, we did a Turkey Trot and explored a beautiful trail. We watched King Richard and Encanto in a drive in theatre which was an enjoyable experience. The month ended on a high note with an acceotance from one of the lit journals. 

December

The month began on a high note with an acceptance from one of the most prestigious workshops-Tin house. My semester ended on a high note and I've been revising my thesis since then, finished reading three books. I did a 15 km run and met a runner friend after two years. It felt good to meet and greet familiar faces. I visited Bodega Bay and got to drive up to Jack London State Historic park, getting to understand about the author's life, his setbacks and success stories. 

One of the biggest learnings this year has been to not lose heart when life throws curveballs at you. True that my health hasnt been at its best but its on the road to recovery. I realized that it was best to throw away some toxic relationships even if it means having lesser people in your life. Its no point being aquainted with someone who brings stress in your life. 

Some of my resolutions for 2022 are as follows

1. To continue reading more books, write new stories and hopefully try and get them published.

2. To continue working on my fitness diligently and hopefully by end of 2022, I'll be back to my old run and triathlon timings. 

3. To try and relax a lot more. for instance I've reconnected with music and listening to it a lot more these days-from pop to rock to EDM.

4. Try and watch some good meaningful cinema.

Lsstly that my own competition is with myself-this applies to both my fitness and writing.