Monday, December 03, 2007

Special day for special people

-Swetha Amit
Children are always considered special to parents. Yet there are those ‘special’ ones who fail to be treated in the same manner due to their faultless distinct features and abilities or rather ‘disabilities’ in this case.

There are some kids who move at a rapid pace in their physical, social and intellectual aspects. However there are few who fail to do so causing havoc and dismay to their parents whose dreams are shattered like a glass window which has been stoned.
Such is the case of children with Autism, Mental retardation, Attention deficit hyperactive disorder, learning disability etc.

Many are horror stricken on hearing their kid’s plight and even reluctant to accept it as the final diagnosis. They often live in denial hoping that some day their little ones prove them and the world wrong. Parents fear of being under societal mixture of pity and scorn. Such pressure propels them to force their children to do things beyond their capacity. Frustration starts to creep in as they face unwarranted flak and criticism from all sources including their families. Exasperation and hopelessness make such parents give up on their children ultimately. Hurling curses and abuses they make theirs and most importantly the child’s life miserable for the failure of acceptance both in their homes and to the outsiders.

Empathy, support, encouragement and compassion seem to disappear like smoke during times like these. Instead, such unfortunate souls are being blamed and even shoveled with insensitivity and mockery. It is horrifying to see such brutal behavior occurring even in the so called educated segment of the society. Such ‘special’ kids are handed out shabby treatment no less than a street urchin. It is appalling and at times ridiculous to see other parents refuse to let their kids mingle with the affected one. Instead of rendering help, it is selfishness that stems in the air.

Such feelings of dejection by parents are understandable. As normal humans they are naturally hurt to see their child being the object of scathing remarks and glances which they desperately want to shield from. Unable to do so, their inability to accept their own kids increases double fold. Their failure to achieve success in their goal manifests on to their innocent young ones unfortunately.

However what they fail to realize is that; it is the acceptance on their part of such ‘challenged’ kids which proves to be a real challenge and a test for them.

The first step is to come to terms with their children’s condition instead of living in the false world of denial and hoping for a miracle. This certainly isn’t easy but definitely not impossible. Blaming themselves or their partner could cause repercussions on their mental strength and stability which is of utmost need here. In fact cases of striving for the ‘normality’ tend to drive parents to the verge of ‘abnormality’ and insanity, ironically.

Unconditional acceptance of their kids irrespective of their plight is highly important and essential. Sometimes this plays a vital role in societal acceptance of them as well. Special care, nurture and affection is required to bring up the tender little thing at his/her pace. Immense patience is needed and one must avoid comparing their child with those of others. A firm stance of showing pride in your child will indeed ward of those irrelevant wagging tongues which will depict a streak of winner in you.

Fighting the bouts of disappointment will enable a higher degree of endurance. Instead one should thank their stars of having a kid unlike some unfortunate beings who are deprived of enjoying the parental stature.

Dealing with special educators and the concerned personnel in this field will enable one to gain clarity and depth of knowledge about such beings. Spreading awareness about the fact of these children NOT having adverse effects on other kids is absolutely necessary. They should be taught the art of mingling with such kids as well. Other parents also need to be brought to light about the Psychology behind these special little ones who need to be dealt with great deal of consideration and diligence. With affiliation in abundance these kids may strive to attain success in their own special manner.

While advancement in educational fields is rising at rapid levels, this is one of the aspects where the modern day society chooses to dwell in deliberate darkness. This is a tribute to those parents to learn to count their blessings instead of sorrows; to contribute instead of indulging in retribution; and make their existence even more exclusive with these ‘special people’ in their lives. Especially today (December 3rd) being world’s disabled day-which is indeed a special day for these special people isn’t it? And in many days/months/years to come by.
Written for www.msn.co.in

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