Monday, September 25, 2006


The below article is definitely something to think about. It is actually very true. As a psychologist cum counselor strongly believe that a person is solely responsible for how he or she reacts or feels. It is a fact that others don’t cause our feelings of happiness, sadness, hurt etc.Its we who choose to feel that way.

It should be realized that no matter what others do or don’t do, it is their problem not ours. If they say something or do something, we are not the losers but they. If people behave in a wrong manner even if it pricks us like a pin, its is they who suffer the consequences of their actions, not us. In short, this is the much talked about LAW OF KARMA.

What goes around comes around. If we do well, we get good, and if we do badly, we get bad. So let’s remember that if someone does something or says something which is against us, instead of feeling bad for ourselves, we should feel sorry for them as they end up with a liability of the bad deed with a huge sum of interest.

A lot of peace of mind is obtained thereby reducing our ever increasing stress levels due to lack of application of the 90/10 principle.10% of what happens to us is definitely not in our control. But the rest 90% is left up to how we react and largely depends on our ATTITUDE.

Difficult, but not impossible. Think about it

What is the 90/10 Principle? It means that 10 percent of life is made up of what happens to you; 90 percent of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean? We really have no control over 10 percent of what happens to us. For instance, we cannot stop the car from breaking down, the plane from arriving late, which throws our whole schedule off. We have no control over this 10 percent.

The other 90 percent is different. You can control the 90 percent. How? By Your Reaction. Let’s use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what has just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table

.A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing Rs.100 (traffic fine) away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.

After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues; it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? Because of your reaction that morning.

Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D.

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have been done and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you.

Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time.” Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After pulling out a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. Your spouse sees you off and you go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED.A powerful principle... especially for those who take life too seriously. Apply the 90/10 principle. It will change your life at least the way you react to situations.



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