Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Parental Pressure

-By Swetha Amit
This time he was geared to hit a six, no matter what. A shot that would make his ‘hard task master’ father immensely proud. He set his face with a determined expression to face the furious paced bowler. As he raised his bat he suddenly felt the heaviness of the mounting pressure slowly creeping upon him. It led to a final blow in this case leaving him stumped as the wickets were knocked off in a no nonsense manner.

This 15 year old lad looked to and fro between the bat and ball in dismay. Slowly he lugged off the nets to be met with reprimanding remarks from his perfectionist parent. The latter’s dream of making him a fine all rounder squashed the youth from all corners leaving him with a stifled feeling An ace student, an excellent batsman not to mention his music lessons to excel as well. He was finding it tough to manage academics and retain his top position in class. What would have ideally been a welcoming break accompanied with fun in these extracurricular activities seemed like a journey from one grilling section to another.

It seemed to be an eternal task of pleasing his father whose passion for the gentleman’s game seemed to project on him heavily. Not to mention his mother's obsession for ghazals forced him to strain his vocal cords. And the added factor of the constant comparison with his contemporaries in and out of the family which included the society and his marketability later on as a prospective suitor. Dwelling on the futuristic factor became droning lecture from there on. Whatever happened to his space, needs and pursuing his own interests?

This is the typical case of the increasing parental pressure in the present scenario. And the children obviously remain screed and affected due to his phenomenon. Some severity in the cases also results in feelings of resentment and taking on a rebellious stance at a much later stage.

The prime parental anxiety lies in wanting the best for their children which is understandable. Wanting to see their kith and kin shine and well settled becomes a main source of concern to an extent that results in excessive worrying. Such feelings often lead to them pushing their children more than needed. At times their own unfulfilled dreams remain a source of frustration which projects on to their young ones. Blinded by this driven passion for redemption of their purpose in life, they fail to see the distress that occurs in the latter.

Parents usually expect their young ones to comply with the conventional mode of vocation. While opportunities today are growing at a large rate, the concept of opting for an unconventional stream is still accompanied with apprehension. ‘What will others/society think?’ remains fixated in minds of the elders. Comparison with other children leads to pushing them to pursue areas where the pressure to excel tags along like a shadow.

The feelings of the youth take a back seat in such instances. This is especially in cases where they do not possess the same aim/goal as their parents. The lack of understanding of their child’s interest, aptitude and personality often results in conflicts and blame games. It could result in strained relations where at times the unforgiving nature continues to linger.

To avoid this disheartening situation, tact and empathy exhibited by parents can work wonders in enhancing this precious relationship. Communication plays a key role in strengthening their understanding of their child’s comfort zone, inclination and temperament. The amount of space, the difficulties faced by them and also the need to have their relaxing recreational time comes into light. Effort spent in gaining such insight would enable them to identify strengths, weaknesses and also establish confidence into their young ones. The latter plays a vital role as it instills the feeling of unconditional acceptance.
Recognizing their potential, talent and encouraging them in the right direction proves to be the anchor needed to steer their children in the right direction. Staunch support and weathering storms in the form of snide remarks by others’ would teach them the art of being assertive and standing up for what they firmly believe in. Lessons like these imbibed from an early stage are imprinted deep within and can be applied to several spectrums of life.

It is believed that home is a strong foundation that gives rise to a sound persona to emerge valiantly into the ocean of life. The lack of which would result in a shaky approach and the failure to face the numerous sharks while climbing up the ladder to reach the surface of success.
Written for www.msn.co.in

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3 Comments:

Blogger Ayesha Parveen said...

A thought provoking article, well-written. In most cases, parents mean well but are blinded by their ego to see that they are being unfair to their children. However, in some cases, abusive parents use the pretext of making children work hard, to hurt them deliberately. It is high time our society admitted this bitter truth and did something about it, because the absolute dictatorial power a parent usually has over his/her hapless child can do irreparable damage to the child's psyche.

7:18 AM  
Blogger Whirlwind said...

Thanks Ayesha. I completely agree with your viewpoint.

10:44 PM  
Blogger Whirlwind said...

Comments on MSN:
KP - Chennai on 9/19/2008 5:13:49 AM
A very well written piece bringing out what disconcerting results can occur by mindless imposition of parental pressure.This is to be read by parents of all school and college going children.The author has done a yeoman service by writing this article.

10:44 PM  

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